


Never

by mustachio



Series: Jump the Bone AU [3]
Category: Book of Life (2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, Insecurity, Morning Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-05
Updated: 2015-04-05
Packaged: 2018-03-21 09:51:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3687738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mustachio/pseuds/mustachio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A year has passed since Manolo's death and Joaquín still wakes up feeling insecure about his marriage to María. María does what she can in that moment to relieve his fears.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never

María wraps the blanket tighter around herself as she drifts back into consciousness. 

The sunlight filtering in through the window is soft, muted by winter clouds and early morning fog. Joaquín’s warm weight against her side is pleasant, but disheartening. She shifts to give herself a better view of him. The movement of his eyes under their lids is rapid; his hands twitch as if to reach out for something that isn’t there.

These are the hardest days—the days when María wakes up before him and finds him still so deep in his sleep that she has to wonder just how short a time ago he was finally able to settle into rest. These days are rare. They’re both early risers. Joaquín’s years spent waking up early for training and then traveling from town to town to fight bandits has kept him out of the habit of sleeping in even now that things have calmed down considerably for him. María prefers to exercise in the early morning, away from prying eyes and the sweltering heat of the day. Joaquín joins her when time permits.

But not on mornings like these. On mornings like these María has to coax him out of bed. He gets restless at night, remembering things he would rather forget and falls into nightmares when he finally gets to sleep. Most of the time they’re about Manolo. Manolo hating him for marrying María, for saying the things he did right before Manolo died. Sometimes they aren’t nightmares. Sometimes they’re dreams where all three of them are together and happy and those are infinitely worse.

She adjusts her position, pressing herself more firmly against his side so that the only thing between them is the thin fabric of her nightgown.

“Joaquín,” she whispers and lets her lips linger against the bare skin of his shoulder. “It’s time to wake up.”

He stirs, but doesn’t wake up. She kisses his shoulder again. The kiss is higher this time. She’s inching her way to the crook of his neck as he continues to stir. Her touch is light under the blanket as her fingers run across his abdomen. She traces the lines of his muscles down, stopping when she hits the waistband of his sleeping pants. Joaquín breathes deeply. One of his hands meets hers and their fingers twine together. His eyes are slow to open, weighed down with exhaustion and dreams.

“’m sorry.” He mumbles.

Joaquín’s voice is almost inaudible it’s so heavy with sleep. He lets go of María’s hand and turns on his side so that his back is facing her. If he hears María’s frustrated sigh, he doesn’t acknowledge it. When she moves so that she can rest her chin on his shoulder his eyes are closed again. His breathing is slow and even. If he isn’t asleep again already, he’s about to be.

“What did you dream about?” She asks anyway.

He hums to show he heard the question, but it takes him a moment to get his mouth to work and the words to form.

“You were happy.” He says and before she can say anything in response he continues. “You were happy with Manolo.”

The addendum doesn’t change a thing.

“I’m happy now.” She insists. “I’m happy with you.”

“Not the same…” The word ‘same’ comes out in a sigh. He’s still on the verge of falling back asleep.

“No, it isn’t.” María agrees.

She tugs on Joaquín’s shoulder to indicate he wants him to face her. He turns, but his eyes are still closed. It’s good enough for now. She kisses him once on the lips. It’s a brief kiss, but lacks a great deal of the innocence a good morning kiss should have. This something more than a good morning.

"Of course it isn’t the same. You’re Joaquín." She kisses him again, this time on the corner of his mouth.

"Wouldn’t you rather have Manolo?" Joaquín frowns.

When he opens his eyes again his gaze is a little unfocused. He still isn’t completely awake yet and his dream still weighs heavily in his mind. He reaches over to run one hand through María’s hair. He searches her face for an answer, but he’s either still too tired to find one or the answer he does find isn’t the one he wants. The hand running through María’s hair drops onto her shoulder and then onto his stomach.

"Manolo is dead, Joaquín."

"But you would rather have him." He sounds resigned.

His brow furrows and his eyes fall shut. They open again almost immediately after, like he didn’t mean to shut them in the first place. María wonders if maybe she should have let him sleep a little longer, but she knows he hates sleeping for too long after the sun has come up. It doesn’t matter what time of day it actually is—if the sun has been up for more than an hour, it’s too late.

"I would not rather have him, Joaquín. I would rather have both of you." María runs her hand up and down his chest again. His abs twitch under her touch. Her touch is both ticklish and exciting. He doesn’t stop her this time. "But you’re the only one I have. Would you take yourself away from me and leave me with neither of the men I love?"

"No." He breathes out.

María puts her hand at his side, pulling until he moves with the motion of her hand so they’re pressed chest to chest. She kisses him. This kiss lingers on his mouth. It’s firm, wanting. Joaquín gasps into it and María swallows the sound of it eagerly.

The hand that had been in her hair now cups her cheek, bringing her in closer. When they part they’re both breathing heavily.

"I love you." María says.

Joaquín kisses her this time.

"I love you." She says again against his lips.

He moves his mouth from hers down to her jaw. His mouth is hot and wet as he moves it along down to her chin and then back up again to the other side of her face. His hand moves down, too, to give his mouth better access. It moves down to her neck, his thumb coming up under her chin to tilt her head up just enough.

“I love you.” He says back, just before grazing his teeth against her skin.

She lets out a satisfied hum when he bites down. It isn’t hard, not this first time. Just enough that she can feel the pressure of his teeth, but no mark is left. When he moves down to the spot where her neck begins he bites harder, this time letting his teeth sink in enough that a mark remains even after he lets go. One of María’s hands go to the back of his neck to pull at the soft strands of hair there.

"Show me."

Joaquín wastes no time in complying with her demand. He slides down her body, leaving soft kisses and nips across her skin as he goes. The blanket is pushed away to give María a view of everything he’s doing. When he gets settled between her legs he pauses for just a moment. He brushes his nose against the thick curls there. He kisses her gently once, twice, and sends a still sleepy smile up at her when she giggles. He leans into her touch when she pushes a hand through his hair. Her touch distracts him for a moment, but he’s quick to get back to the task at hand.

The smell of María is intoxicating. He buries his nose in her hair and pokes his tongue out of his lips enough that he can just begin to taste her. The sound of her pleased gasp is all the encouragement Joaquín needs. He runs the tip of his tongue over her, not quite entering her yet, but giving her a hint of what’s to come. She lets him continue on with his teasing like this for about ten more seconds before she rolls her hips up into him with a moan of his name.

He looks back up at her and whispers “I love you” again, although the words seem to get lost before they reach her. He slips his tongue into her, relishing the gasps and moans that leave her mouth when he moves it. He goes deeper and deeper, makes upward strokes with his tongue and makes sure to give an extra flick of his tongue when it reaches her most sensitive spot. While his mouth occupies itself with her, he brings one of his hands down between his legs. He’s hard. Uncomfortably so. But every noise that comes out of María’s mouth makes ignoring his own need all too worth it.

María wraps her legs around Joaquín’s shoulders to make sure he doesn’t go anywhere. It’s an unnecessary gesture. He seems to be enjoying himself enough down there that the chances of him stopping before she tells him to seems unlikely. Pressure builds up in her stomach with every flick of his tongue. He knows exactly what to do and where to go to make her squirm and he hits every spot with expert precision. And then, of course, there’s his mustache, which tickles as it brushes against her and makes her giggle in a way that only seems to spur him on.

"I love you." She gasps out, but he doesn’t look up.

When he starts sucking she knows this has to come to an end. This isn’t how she wants to finish. It feels like she’s about to be pushed over the edge so she tugs on his hair to bring him up. He’s hesitant at first. He looks up at her like he doesn’t fully understand why she would want him to stop. His tongue darts out across his mouth to clean himself up a bit. María tugs again and this time he complies.

The hand not buried in Joaquín’s hair moves down between their bodies to guide him into her. They gasp out simultaneous “I love you”s at the moment of penetration. Their movements are unhurried. Neither of them see any reason to rush this. Sleep still tugs at the edges of Joaquín’s mind, but it’s much less now. He’s here, in this moment, with María and though he’s still tired, he can’t imagine falling asleep now. He looks at her with all the love in his heart and a happiness he’s only felt on rare occasions settles itself in every part of him when she returns that look.

María giggles at the look on Joaquín’s face. The grin he has on is so goofy and stupidly happy and she thinks she would be happy to look at that face for the rest of her life and beyond. He is one of the most beautiful men she’s ever seen—one of the most loving. It feels like a failure that she hasn’t managed to erase all feelings of doubt about how much he loves him. She wraps her legs tight around Joaquín’s waist as he continues his lazy thrusts into her.

She kisses him with a grin of her own still on her lips. He deliberately moves his head so that his mustache brushes against her and makes her laugh again. Her laughter causes the kiss to break, but he chases after her mouth to bring their lips back together again just in time to swallow the gasp that escapes when he hits a particularly sweet spot inside her. That alone isn’t enough to make María forgive him for deliberately tickling her, though. She reaches for an area of his stomach that has always made him squirm and that doesn’t fail her now. He jerks back slightly, but rather than putting distance between them, it just puts María half on top of him. She takes the opportunity to adjust herself so that she’s fully on top of him and rolls her hips into his as soon as she’s settled.

He moans into her mouth. His grip on her hips is bruising and encouraging. He meets each roll of her hips with a shallow thrust of his own. Both of them are close to the edge. It only takes a few more seconds before they’re both sent over. Joaquín tenses as María clenches around him. Both of them find release with each other’s names on the other’s lips, foreheads pressed together, and lips just barely brushing together. María falls against Joaquín’s chest and he holds her tightly to him.

"I love you," She says for the umpteenth time that night.

Joaquín kisses the top of her head and finally lets all the doubt his dreams had put into his head fade away.

"I love you, too." He responds.

"I wouldn’t trade the life we have together for anything." She kisses his cheek as a form of extra reassurance.

Joaquín doesn’t wonder if that includes bringing Manolo back. The thought of trading María for Manolo and vice versa makes him sick. He won’t put that thought in her head any more than it already is.

"I can’t believe he’s been gone for a year already." Joaquín says. "I miss him so much."

Joaquín can barely bring his voice above a whisper. María kisses him again, this time right above his heart. A year. One whole year without their second best friend and love of their lives. The hurt is still stronger than either of them would care to admit.

"Me, too." She sighs. "But we’ll see him again one day."

"Promise me we’ll see him at the same time?" Joaquín asks.

 _Don’t leave me alone_ , he doesn’t say.

"I promise." María says.

 _I will never leave you_ , she doesn’t respond.


End file.
